“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ― Lao Tzu

"I love you, all this time I've loved you. It's okay if you love someone else, though. Just let me love you."
"I'm so sorry, but you'd better not."
"Why?"
"Because I can't love you back."
"I don't expect you to do so."
"Well, then, please love someone else who will love you back. Believe me I'm not gonna make you happy."
"You will, if you let me love you."
"I can't. It's rude."
"Why is it rude when someone love others?"
"Cause it's like taking something from you but I give you nothing instead."
"But you do give me something."
"What is it?"
"A chance for me to love the one I love."

Intermezzo

“Aku suka hujan,” ujarku sambil menatap langit. Butiran air, tak terhitung jumlahnya, tumpah ruah menghujam bumi. Tanpa menoleh sekalipun, aku bisa merasakan sosok di sebelahku sedang menatapku sambil mengerutkan dahinya.

“Kenapa?”

Ah, pertanyaan bagus.

“Kenapa...?” gumamku “Mungkin karena... walaupun hujan tampak seperti tangis, seperti duka, luka, tapi dia sebenarnya adalah anugrah.” Aku menghela napas pelan.

“Hujan membawa kesejukan, kesuburan, sesuatu yang nggak bakal terjadi kalau langit cerah terus.”

“Tapi kalau hujan terus, ya lama-lama banjir kan?” sanggahnya.

“Memang,” jawabku sambil mengulum senyum “Itulah sebabnya kita nggak bisa bilang kalau hujan itu sedih, boring, gloomy, sementara cerah itu happy.”

Kali ini, ia memalingkan wajahnya dariku.

“It is all balanced. Kita gak cuma butuh hari cerah aja, hujan juga. The same goes to life. Kadang kita butuh menangis supaya sadar nikmatnya tertawa. Sebaliknya, kadang kita juga butuh tertawa supaya ingat bahwa hidup itu isinya nggak cuma nangis aja.”

Aku lalu tertawa. Memangnya apa yang lucu? Entahlah, tapi dia ikut tertawa bersamaku.

“Ya elah omonganmu, kayak telur dadar aja. Dibolak-balik.”

Kali ini aku tertawa lebih keras.

“Hidup kita ini juga kayak telur dadar, dibolak-balik sama nasib.” sahutku puas.

Sesaat, tidak ada respon apapun. Tampaknya dia juga puas dengan jawabanku.

dream guy

Started in TOEFL class when my teacher asked me to write a paragraph using gradual adjective so then ikdy I wrote about my dream guy. hahaha. so since it's pretty interesting I post it here! (the long-version of course :3)

He should be a moslem. Wait no he MUST be a moslem. Doesn't need to be the very-religious one but at least he understand his religion well. Then he would be tall, well above 170cm perhaps since I'm about 168cm :) and I want him to be taller than me! Handsome is another thing, since it's relative. Every girl has their own perspective about what 'handsome' is. For me 'handsome' is a well-behaved guy comes with good-looking face tee-hee. I usually fall easily for a friendly guy... ohhh shame on me! But physically, I like a mature-looked guy. oh wait NO MUSTACHE OR WHATEVER HAIR-ON-THE-FACE since I'm going to fall in love to a teenage guy not to an 'uncle-uncle' alias 'om-om' hahaha. and note this one, pointed nose drives me crazy, literally.

I don't know which is better; an athletic guy is or the nerd one but I believe I'd prefer both personalities in one person... the ATHLENERD haha. then he'd better plays an instrument, at least guitar. but I do think guy plays an exotic instrument such as violin would be very very umm what is it, charismatic? attractive? tempting? whoops.

Then, I always imagine... that someday there will be a new student moved into my school. and he would be exactly like what I've described above. then we would fall in love each other (omg this is soooo cheesy) and he would do sweet things to me like teaches me guitar and lesson, cheers me up when I feel sad, talks about future with me like 'what university you wanna get into?' and whatever best friends are usually do. yup I don't wanna be in a relationship cause it's prohibited in our school (haha like I care about school's rules!). no, it's because as long as I know till now, relationship usually brings you nothing but misery in the end. but it's not like 'don't you dare having relationship' or 'I won't have any relationship'. no offense k?

Last thing about 'dream guy', Taylor Swift's old song really describe it well.

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything betterHe respects my space and never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my motherTalks business with my father
He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable 

いただきます！

I always wanna use hiragana while blogging! the letters are cute aren't they? I'm crazy about japanese nowadays and I plan to take a jap course! just to make sure I learn well tee-hee wish me luck :)

oh yeah btw it read 'itadakimasu' means 'bon appetit'. means that... yup we're going to talk about food! no wait it's better : JAPANESE FOOD! yay!

it was my mom's birthday at 19. HAPPY BDAY MOM! *kisses* and she brought us to my fave japanese restaurant in town! yeey! I keep myself hungry the whole day at school to make sure I could stuffed my tummy with tons of sushi and ramen haha.

so here is some sushi I ate :

Inarizushi, so it's fried tofu skin 'purse' stuffed with sushi rice. and it can be topped with anything. the one I ate was topped with tobiko. it's flying fish roe. it was tasty (yeah I always say ALL japanese food is tasty since I love it) but really this inarizushi is ahh-mazing! the tofu skin is a bit sweet, I think it was marinated with soy sauce and sugar and it really match the salty soy-sauce. just dip it a little-- too much soy sauce will be TOTALLY DISASTER.

INSANELY RECOMMENDED!

Tamago Nigiri, yeah it's just another variation of nigiri sushi-- it's a small sushi-rice ball with topping on the top-- and tamago is japanese omelette. this tamago is quiet unique; its thick-layered texture and its sweet taste. tamago itself goes great with anything, since it's an essential part of japanese cuisine. oh and it's so easy-to-make too! learn how to make it here :)

yum-yum

there are not so many people like sushi (perhaps it doesn't match their Indonesian tongue haha too bad) but it's not bad to try. my tips is : first, if it's your first time don't order too much, since you don't know whether you'll like it or not so you won't waste your money :) second, sushi is a bit 'pocket-ripping', hehe I admit great taste comes with great price also, so eat together with friends is better! it's much more fun and it can lower the cost too. just order the big sushi platter, it is usually cheaper than ala carte.

for you who lives in Malang, East Java, Indonesia, here is my favorite japanese restaurant :

Sugoi Tei

Jalan Panderman 11 Malang

Hachi-Hachi Bistro

MX Square Jalan Veteran 8 Malang

sayonara!